Boston had his 4 month check up today, complete with shots. I had been dreading this appointment basically since his last appointment, but even more so in the past few weeks. I've worried he wasn't gaining enough weight for a little while now and I didn't want the pediatrician to say he was underweight or suggest we supplement formula or anything. I've been obsessively weighing him at home everyday hoping to see he's gaining but I haven't seen a climb on that scale in weeks.
At first I wasn't really sure why I was so concerned because I can easily look at my son and see he's healthy. He's bright-eyed, intelligent, active and happy. He's a little slim, he's one of the few babies that could use a belt, but he's healthy! So why was I so worried?
I'm going to chalk it to the battle of the mamas; the constant unspoken battle between moms and their children. Who's baby is reaching milestones faster, growing quickest, which mama is the do-all supermom. Facebook is the real demon for me. I see my friends who have children around the same age as Boston posting their kid's stats and instantly I find myself comparing it to where he is. A friend posted her 2 month old is 12 1/2 pounds and I realize Boston is barely 6 ounces more then that and he's twice as old! But does that matter? I can look over at him and see he's fine so why am I concerned?
Other babies in Boston's age bracket are starting solids and rice cereal. We aren't there yet. Originally I was against solids before 6 months because of the articles I've read on food allergies but yet I see another 3 month old scarfing down sweet potatoes and I worry we're not keeping up.
In the end, I brought up my concerns with his pediatrician and he said Boston is healthy and perfect and to stop worrying about it. No need to start solids if we aren't ready and that we should just read Boston's cues and decide for ourselves when we're ready for that.
And I realized I needed to get a grip. I have a beautiful, healthy baby who is thriving. Who gives a crap what other kids are doing? Boston is an individual and no one knows him better then my husband or I do and yet I continually question my mothering abilities and the choices we're making. But I guess that's a good thing because I care that much. It's difficult having this little being you love more then anything else and being responsible for making every single decision for them, especially while still dealing with the communication barrier that obviously comes with having an infant. I have to speak for him, and I have to hope the things I'm choosing for him are the right things and that's enough pressure to crack anyone I suppose. And you know, I'm sure that's what all my mama friends are doing too. We're all just trying to make the best choices we can on behalf of our little ones with whatever knowledge we have at hand.
So what were Boston's stats in the end, you ask?
Height : Tall enough
Weight : Who cares, he's adorable. End of story.
Look at this face and tell me how you think he's doing.