Sunday, May 27, 2012

College Drop-Out

I spent last night and today scouring the UNH website trying to figure out what I needed to enroll in classes. I studied 2 years at the University of Alaska Anchorage right after high school. I ended up dropping out to move to Illinois to be with my then boyfriend who is now the husband, then when I planned to go back to school there, said boyfriend turned fiance decided to mix things up and join the air force. So I planned to go back once we moved to our base. The military decided to shake things up and we got stationed overseas. At the time I didn't know how to go about online school (still don't) and thought maybe I still wanted to be a teacher, in which case I would be entering my observation years and that simply wouldn't work. And then while overseas, I got knocked up (planned) and life shook things up and we ended up in New Hampshire.
So I became a college drop-out. Which has bugged me every day since. But now that Boston is a little older, I think I'm ready to go back to school. The problem for the past few months was deciding what to do. Now I have settled on a bachelors in social work, however the UNH website is not college drop-out/mommy brain/dummy friendly and I can't figure it out. So Tuesday I'll be going in to talk to them about enrolling and praying to God I can get in this fall and do some general ed classes online.
Anyway, during all of this I felt what I believe is my quarter life crisis. Feeling pretty shitty about being almost a quarter of a century old and still having no clue what I wanted to do with my life. Being nearly 25 with a family depending on me and not having a degree or any relative skills for life. Even worse, the majority of the things I'm interested in at this point are pre-med and take years and tons of commitment and time, plus many require school out of state and that's something that isn't an option for me at this point in my life. It's kind of a bummer. And trying to enroll in college again and use my head for the first time in 4 years felt like a great idea until I realized my poor brain has melted to practically nothing in the 4 years I've wasted drinking too much wine and watching reality TV all day. So many cells lost out on Teen Mom and Real World that I can't navigate my way around a university website.
Just a warning for anyone wanting to drop out and say, "Oh I'll go back later"; don't be a dummy. Just get your degree and be done with it because life will get in your way if you give it the chance. And your brain will go to waste. You may end up on Swamp People if you aren't careful.

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